I realized that if I wanted people to tell me the truth, I had to make it safe. So I started asking, “What’s one thing I could have done differently?” after every talk or interview. That question changed everything. It turned feedback into something that felt like a gift, not a risk. (View Highlight)
At Ancestry, I started “magic wand dinners.” Everyone at the table would share one thing they’d change if they had a magic wand. It could be about the company, the culture, or the product. The dinners became a place for honest conversation. We fixed bugs, connected teams, and surfaced ideas that eventually turned into successful products, like Pro Tools. (View Highlight)
When I was an IC, my friend and mentor Brian Boland once told me, “Once you reach a certain level, people will stop telling you the truth.” At the time, I didn’t really understand what he meant. I was still early in my career, and people gave me plenty of feedback. But years later, after a few promotions, his words came back to me. (View Highlight)
As you become more senior, fewer people will tell you the truth. Some worry about how you’ll take it. Others don’t know how to give feedback because they’ve never done your job. And some are afraid that being too honest could have consequences. (View Highlight)
Power distance plays a big part. If you act like someone who shouldn’t be questioned, no one will risk being honest with you. (View Highlight)
When you’re junior, your manager probably did your job before. They can give you direct, tactical feedback. But when you start managing managers or leading functions, the people around you haven’t walked in your shoes. Your job shifts from the craft to the culture. (View Highlight)
As a CEO, I understood why. I couldn’t teach my General Counsel, Greg Packer, to be a better lawyer, but I saw my job to help him grow as a leader. He was already at the top of his craft, but he still saw himself as “the lawyer in the room.” I reminded him that he was not just a lawyer. He was an equal leader beside the other C-suite executives.
Once he embraced that, everything changed. He started weighing in on business strategy and culture, not just legal matters. It was incredible to watch him step into that larger role. (View Highlight)
It was a painful lesson. Asking for feedback and being ready to hear it are two very different things.
If you want real feedback, ask specific questions. Try:
• “What’s one thing I could do differently to be more effective?”
• “What is something I could change that would make your job easier?”
• “What would you like to see more of?”
That makes (View Highlight)
was a painful lesson. Asking for feedback and being ready to hear it are two very different things. (View Highlight)
If you want real feedback, ask specific questions. Try:
• “What’s one thing I could do differently to be more effective?”
• “What is something I could change that would make your job easier?”
• “What would you like to see more of?” (View Highlight)
That makes feedback feel like collaboration instead of criticism. When you get feedback, show you heard it. Let people see you put it into action. (View Highlight)
When you’re the one offering feedback, remember that it only works when trust exists. Without trust, honesty sounds like judgment. With trust, it sounds like care. (View Highlight)
Feedback is not about proving a point. It’s about helping someone be more effective. It’s a mirror, not a weapon. (View Highlight)
Feedback is one of the greatest gifts in our careers. But it only works if we make it safe to give and possible to hear. So change the permission structure. Ask clearly. Listen carefully. And show that you are willing to grow. (View Highlight)
often think back to what Brian told me years ago. He was right. At some point, people do stop telling you the truth. But that just means it’s your job to go and find it.
The higher you rise, the more you need to seek out the voices that make you better. (View Highlight)
